Open Up!

So, my little brother went to basic training today. I said goodbye to him yesterday, right before I came back to school, well work, actually, since it's summer.

Generally, I like a good solitary drive. I'd take them more often if it were for my car's dependence on foreign oil, but what are you gonna do? A long drive is the perfect opportunity to just think. I don't do nearly enough of just thinking, what with television, books, video games, and the internet always around to distract me. Thinking, non-distractedly is a lost art, and if I could harness it correctly, then I would be a more well-developed individual. The key, I think is to go deep, not just think about what clothes I have to wear, what chores I have to do once I get home, or anything like that. Instead, to think about the biggies, the meaning of life, my relationship with God, God Himself, love, angst, the future, you know all that stuff.

Well, you know me, always a sucker, but not willing to admit to it, I love listening to those sappy love songs on those adult contemporary radio stations. It was one of those idiotic, cheesily lyricized songs that made me start crying. Gosh, it was horrible. And you know what I did? Yep, I tried to think logically about why I was crying. Of course it's obvious that I flippin miss my little brother. I don't really need a reason other than that, but I tried to make myself find one. But yeah, I'm sad.

So, not a bit deal, right? I guess not. I'm sad because someone in my family will be out of reach for a long, long while, and I am really busted up about that. I'm going to be a little selfish and say that I'm happy that I'm sad because that means that I am not selfish. Does that make sense? It illustrates that I'm not just an anonymous pod on a solitary walk to an unknown destination. I am connected to someone else, to other people. And for the funk I've been in the past few months, it's just the reassurance I have been waiting for