This guy blows my mind

Watch the latest two videos. It's awesome.

Michael Wesch

What I'm Reading

For those of you who don't know about PG Wodehouse, well you're missing out. This expatriate left his motherland of England to live out his life in the States. And as the saying goes (or doesn't) you can take the man out of Britain, but you can't take Britain out of the man, so Wodehouse kept writing about England. Most of his stories are about the 'inept elite', or more explicitly the aristocratic families whose members get themselves into endless troubles.

The series I just started concerns Mr. Mulliner and his various relatives. I think the volume I'm currently on focuses mostly on his nephews (Wodehouse is knows for his Shakesperean-like grasp on nephew/uncle relationships.

PG's works are unique, though, because of the simultaneous simplicity and academic challenge. His stories seem to be archetypal and set to comedic type. However, halfway through, he'll through out a crazy curveball; he's like the M. Night Shymalan of comedic short stories. In addition, he also makes these horribly witty allusions to classic literature and art, just barely falling short of parodic statements.

At the heart of his stories, though, is this inherent goodness that makes me smile, no matter the plot's outcome. It's gorgeous.

I Give Up

I don't want to write any papers.

Random Bits of Information

Papers are starting to be due, and I'm really looking forward to the Reds/Cubs game that will happen in 2 weeks. This weekend I'm going craft shopping and catching some movies. Oh, and not being around for the game on Saturday.

I think I'm going to study modernists in grad school, to which I still have to apply.

The rear view mirror in my car is broken. Admonition: don't ever toss your bookbag into the car and not expect bad things to come of it.

I kind of want to move to Chicago and buy season passes to the baseball games.

I hate Marshall football.

When the fall season starts up, I'm going to have to buy another VCR (ok, only kidding).

Felt the Need to Say Something

I am watching a little too much baseball for my own good.

I am doing well in my classes, but I have this uncharacteristic and almost crippling fear of failure. I'll just have to get over it.

I'm excited about bible study tonight and about cooler weather headed this way.

Also, the Cubs may get to the playoffs.

I got angry today when girls in my American lit class started bashing Thoreau. They were making quick snap judgements and such, without giving credit where credit was due. I'm still kind of fuming about that one, but I intend to take it out in an essay.

I Am Sad

Dr. Whalen has gone to Florida.

Second Day of School!

Tuesdays and Thursdays are officially tough. I have three back to back classes, sandwiched by work. It's nice to only have 1 class on Wednesday and Fridays because I'll have a chance to finish all of my readings (I hope).

The first hit of the day is Milton...who was yet another white man from ages ago. Shucks. Ok, I'll try not to be too judgemental, I suppose. Burbery is teaching this class, and he gives the room a comfortable atmosphere. He expects a lot out of us, though. They syllabus is 20 pages long. Eek.

Next I have my Senior Seminar (my capstone) at the end of which I will have a two-inch three-ring binder filled with my writings. Oh, and we're studying theory, criticism, and postcolonialism. This class will take up half of the assignment board.

Closing the day is American Lit 1830-1865. We get to read Whitman, Alcott, and Thoreau, which is exciting. But we also have to read...a lot of other boring stuff, and put up with a guy in the class who is old(er) and thinks that he is smarter than the teacher. The work in there looks to be average, about an hour an evening.

In other news. I need a name for my new car. Any suggestions?

First Day of School

Although I have been in Huntington all summer, this first day of the "fall" semester was still full of first day jitters. I began the day in the mailroom, which was more like coming home than going to work. Not that Home is demoted, my week spent with the family was great and full of love. I'm just fortunate enough to have two homes.

This senior year is calm excitement in that I am thrilled about my coursework (most of it), and I finally feel comfortable and competent in my classes. My peers are actually sensible adults who are here to learn, not to flirt or party. It seems to me that we are all thrilled with learning. It's a comfortable, non-threatening atmosphere.

Things that aren't so nice about the new year: Some of the people are missing from my college life (i.e. graduates), things will be stressful, and my new contacts not having arrived yet.

The only class that has met thus far is Western World Literature with Dr. Hood, whom I had last year. She is a brilliant instructor, really knows her stuff, but she is a little....aloof. Regardless, I always learn in her classes, and her uniqueness lends itself to her quirky sense of humor.

Next is Shakespeare with Dr. Taft, whom I had a few semesters ago. He's a fun teacher also, very relatable and relaxed. But it's Shakespeare, and despite my love for literature, I find it easy to be critical of the bard. Regardless, it's a night class so only once a week :D.

I have to unpack now and wash some dishes.

A Factual Statement

I am very excited for school to begin.

I Made an Adult Decision!

When school starts, I'm going to make an appointment with the counseling program on campus. If only to say that I gave it a shot, at least. If that doesn't work out for me, my mom told me that our insurance covers therapist fees for 88 sessions or something. Now I can be all like Hollywood and have a therapist!

Not that that is the point or anything. What I'm looking for is more like a direction in life, or at least a way to find some direction, I guess. This week I am not sad or depressed, and I actually feel pretty content with everything. Josh, Ashley, and Mom are coming over for a visit, and hopefully we will get my car fixed. If not, I may have to buy a new, er, different one. While that is exciting, it is also very scary, and even more adult. Note, that's adult, not Adult-xxx, or something. Ok, I've said enough.

I Think I Have ADD, No, Seriously, I Think I Do

This week especially I have been feeling very listless, and, in all honesty, prone to random bouts of crying. Finding myself overly emotional, and distracted by nothing, I have somehow landed with a bout of "depression" of some sort. I am filled with a daunting sense of desparity, have no motivation to do anything except trying to find a way of feeling not sad.

Usually, in my life, since adolesence at least, I am happy and content. I have goals that I set, I generally meet them or at least take strides in that direction. Recently however, I feel as if I am being chased by a foreboding monster, one that is so large that it is surrounding me and I can see nothing but darkness. Until now I have been able to outrun the beast, keeping him at bay with optimism, forthrightness, and Bible reading. And while I feel that God's love for me and my love for Him have not waned in quite a while, and that I am filled with His grace, but there is little else consuming me than the dark monster.

And, no, it's not that time of the month, and when it is, I usually do not cry.

Dad has ADD, he takes medicine for it. I looked some stuff up, the symptoms seem to allign with my current situation. I was somewhat doubtful of my condition until the following things seem to hit their respective nails on the heads:

• does not follow through
• easily distracted in coversations
• random jokes about life, history, self
• trouble falling alseep and waking up
• finds fault with self when things do not work out as planned
• trouble talking in relationships
• no intimate friendships or relationships
• struggle to stay focused or centered, but has moments of "hyperfocus"
• restless, full of nervous energy
• unable to sit still, without figdeting for long periods of time
• strong sense of underachievement
• procrastinating, has trouble getting motivated
• and here's the kicker: in women, ADD often manifests itself as depression, as women are apt to hid their symptoms and this stifling leads to feelings of desparity.

But it is fitting, coming to this truth (or non-truth, as time will tell) tonight, as I am watching Jeeves & Wosster, a television program based on a series of books by PG Wodehouse. The two actors playing the title roles, are in actual life the best of friends and have been partners in comedy since their days in college. In reading the biographies of these men, I found that before even being asked to play these roles, both of them found Wodehouse's stories as a great comfort to them in their years of battling depression. That little morsel of trivia made me think of myself in that I am most content, in public, when people are laughing at some sort of joke or mannerism of mine. Alone, however, I am anything but a joker and feel quite lonely. Yet this loneliness is self-imposed.

Anyway, thoughts for the evening. Take them with a grain of salt, if you read them.

Things I am Excited About

A few of these won't make any sense.

1. I rearranged my room.
2. I lost my keys, freaked out, found my lost WWJD ring, found my keys.
3. I don't have to work tomorrow.
4. I'm going to visit my family this weekend.
5. On Doctor Who, Jack revealed that he was the Face of Bo (most fantastic reveal yet)!
6. Summer "D" Session starts Monday, and I will have an English class.
7. Jesus loves me (and you)!

Ok, that's it.

What I've Been Thinking About Today

Once upon a time, a boy was born to a woman who had all but given up on life because she couldn't have kids. When this kid was old enough, she sent him into priesthood, saying that she would give this awesome gift back to God. Following his mother's example, Samuel learns all the tricks of the trade, defends his Creator, and calls out people who don't. One time, when Samuel was feeling especially lost, after his spiritual leaders had let him down, he didn't turn to God and say, "Man, your people are kind of shady!" Instead Samuel humbly looks to God for guidance and says, "I'm ready to listen, Lord. Tell me what you want me to do."

That's amazing. All at once Samuel recognized the corruption in the church, dealt with it, and acknowledged that this corruption came not from God, but from man. What an apt lesson in these days of the politically-driven "Religious Right"! But that's no matter, the point, for me at least, is that those who seek God, will hear Him, be lead by Him, and in the midst of struggle when the world doesn't give you the support you think you need, God will be there. Always.

Notable things that happened recently...

But that are not worth elaborating on:

• It flooded outside my house yesterday and my car almost floated away
• I haven't eaten dinner out at all this week :)
• I skipped my geography class a lot, but I still have an "A"
• I fed a lizard some live crickets
• I broke a button
• I became addicted to The Discovery Channel
• I enjoyed reading the Old Testament
• I forgot how to spell.

Ok, that's it, somebody else make a cool list.

I have temporarily set aside Redemption for a book that I fell in love with during the first page of reading. How to be Good by Nick Hornby (known for verbal wit and realistically comical satire) is filled with candor, desperation, competitiveness, emotional nudity, and figurative armed defenses. The narrator, Katie Carr, is both brilliant in her honesty, and idiotic in her situational blindness. This makes for prose that is depressingly hilarious, and definitely makes the novel itself a good summer read. Also, my personal joy is that I catch the British slang and can envision precisely where she is in London (courtesy of Doctor Who and Google Image Search).

In more urbane news: I did laundry today in the company of "differently abled persons". One of these persons had managed to urinate himself before the party left, while many of the others seemed impervious to my polite pleads of "Excuse me" and "Can I pass through here, please". That was an adventure.

I am looking forward to my Bible reading this evening. It is water, that's for sure.

Sometimes, I am Wrong

A confession.

Last weekend, I went to the bookstore, partook in the sale they were having. Of the three items puchased, one was a gift, one was was worth its expenditure, the last I have just thrown onto the floor in disgust.

Perhaps its title will tell you why: How to Avoid the 10 Mistakes Single Women Make. Ok, it's a little cheesy, a little too self-helpish. At this point I concur. The first two Chapters (mistakes) went well enough. The first talked about being willing to open your life to other people. Ok, I can note that, I am a little self-centered, a little selfish. The second chapter was also credible: don't wait for a mate to begin your life. Ok, I could deal with that. Then, this chapter went on a diatribe about putting myself first because I had the freedom to do so. Not only does this contradict the first chapter, but also many scripture that tells me too look out for others and think of myself last (see Matthew, like, the whole thing). I should have stopped there, but no, I had to read on.

The third chapter told me I need to look past appearances when searching for a man. As if being an obese collegiate (and obese my entire life) hadn't taught me that lesson by age 2, I also need to be told that I can look outside my "type" for a husband. I lost it there, not only was this stuff trivial, and doesn't warrant being pushed in a Christian book, as Christians should strive for non-judgemental perusal in ALL ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES, not just marriage.

After reading this, I took a closer look at the chapter titles, #7 "Focus on the Most Important Person in you Life After God: You". Give me a break. A major part of being a Christian is being selfless. Jesus gave up His life for Me, the least I can do is look past my selfish desires and help other people.

I am angered by this book. I will be happy to pass it on to others to see if they can find some silver lining, but I warn you, be wary. Maybe I should lock this thing away instead of handing it out....

I'm All Talk

I need to build a relationship with Christ, not talk about having one. I need to stop waiting for someone to come along and make our relationship stronger. God-centered, that's the way it has to be.

Digression

I don't know what I've come here to say. I feel naively as Tony did in West Side Story. "Something's coming, something good," or something like that. Totally unfounded, of course. But as my women's tuition has yet to prove itself credible, we'll ignore its latest beckoning.

Turning off the TV is a great idea. To amuse myself I have instead been listening to music, new and old, and reading or writing in lieu of pushing rubber buttons in the hopes of being amused. While cable offers some interesting bites, the summer schedule is lackluster at best, and really isn't worth watching (except on Fridays when Doctor Who and Man vs. Wild come on). Lately I've been grooving to Carbon Leaf and Jack Johnson. Carbon Leaf is a band out of VA with a sound that is uniquely Irish and alternative. It's acoustic rock, with Irish-esque harmonies, and brilliant lyrics. Here's a taste:

Take a walk down town, and dream with me

We'll walk the parks and the empty streets

You know the seasons ought to be

Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat.

We're alone in a crowded room

Silhouetted and ready to bloom

You know the seasons ought to be

Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat

Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat

And when the high wind blows everything

Like the lion attacking the spring

I love you more than I'll ever let on

And that's a fault of mine

I'm working on.

Of course, it's much better with the music, so I encourage you guys to check them out.

Something Envigorating This Way Comes (Please.)

I am going crazy with boredom. The past few days have been filled with laziness and the Discovery Channel (I know more about crab fishing than I had ever thought possible). I hadn't even picked up a leisurely book for around four days, the situation, as it sits, is dire.

I keep contemplating picking up the cursed Norton Anthologies, in an attempt to study for the GRE subject test, but that small notion sends me away screaming. Seriously. I hate Norton Besides, I have another year until the inception of grad school, and at least a year and half before I have to take the test, so I'm doing ok, right?

Anyway, I have to give myself a substantive mission. I've actually made some headway on Bible reading, and stuck with with devotions for the better part of two weeks. But other than that, I have nothing I would be proud to say that I've accomplished. Sheesh.

I need something significant to do.

A Modern-Day Anamoly

The Doctor is amazing for many reasons. But perhaps you are not familiar with the said "Doctor". The Doctor is a Time Lord from the planet Galifrey. Time Lords are an alien race who have mastered the technology needed to travel through time and space (but they can't travel through their own lifetime because pterodactyl looking aliens will come and eat everybody up). Anyway, why is this particular Time Lord so cool? Let me tell you.

This guy, who could spend his time traveling all over the place, decides to spend it with humans, because, according to him, we are an amazingly emotional and adaptable race that, despite the odds set against it, prevails and survives through time. Humans, for the Doctor, are kind of like Hobbits for Gandalf. And if you don't get that analogy, then you probably don't care about anything else in this post.

The Doctor also has this unstoppable determination to remain relatively violence-free. While the Doctor travels through time and space, inevitably saving the human race from other time traveling aliens (and that's where the story gets kind of circular: i.e, is the Doctor saving humans because they always survive, or are humans always surviving because the Doctor saves them?), he always attempts to come to some sort of diplomatic solution. Most of the time, the other aliens are non-compliant, and the dear defender must resort to more extreme measures to ensure the safety of humanity.

Regardless of its underscored British cheesiness, the series that portrays the Doctor's adventures (you know, Doctor Who) does sowith delicacy and charm. And even better, it comes complete with a moral message that is delicately cloaked in the story, so that you come away with a sense of purpose without feeling as if you've been beaten over the head by some morality-driven writer who has no knack for natural storytelling.

If my argument here hasn't been compelling enough for you to tune in to the new season of Doctor Who that premieres on Sci-fi in a couple of weeks, then I'm just going to have to kidnap you and force you to watch it anyway. Trust me, you'll feel better for it.

Pick and Choose

I am trudging my way through the Old Testament these days, and after reading Genesis, Exodus, etc. many times in an effort to stick with some year-long Bible reading plan, I've jumped right into Samuel. As I read, I try to pick apart the scripture, do a close reading of sorts, and this system is working much better than it usually does, in regards to the OT (the New Testament lends itself more easily to perusal). So my tactic now is to read these books like stories, complete with realistic characters who rise and fall, who sin and live.

It's very difficult to look at these men (and some women) as examples, as their lives are unavoidably compared to Jesus's, so thus I think that they are supreme losers and don't deserve my attention. But it isn't that simple.

What I've found in Samuel thus far is a woman who gave up everything to serve God (Hannah), an unfledging servant of the Lord who sticks to his guns when everyone is doing the opposite (Samuel) and a constant familial setting that is always morphing and changing, but nonetheless offering a social structure that makes every one of its members relatable and understandable.

Once I got passed looking for the Ultimate Truth or some unblemished Israeli warrior and just took these people for who they are, their world and lives came alive for me. I see myself in them, I see in their leaders surrogate mentors, and most importantly I see God working in the lives of these servants, just as He works in my life. This stuff is water, and my spirit is a desert aching to be filled.

Pandora.com is awesome.

Bonafonatones, I miss you and your adeptly skillful players.

Spot the Shakespearean Quote!

Upon reccomedation from a friend (Kimbo), I started reading aChristian fiction book Redemption, written by Gary Smalley and Karen Kingsbury. I am not usually a fan of the genre, but I sample all reccomedations; it's only fair.

Anyway, this particular novel is about a couple and the husband's having an affair. Thus far I'm not sure if I'm going to stick with it (and because of a rule originally set forth by high school English teach, Mr. Smead, I have to read on for at least 20 more pages). The writing itself has much to be desired both mechanically and rhetorically, and I can't help paying attention to those things, it's in my nature. The characters seem realistic enough, but they're a bit to "Everyman" for my tastes. Plus, it's set in Indiana, and thus is uncolorful.

In spite of all those things, however, this book is an engaging read. I'm picturing all these places in my head, sympathizing with the characters (well, not the cheaters, of course) and really just getting into it. Maybe this will be my indulgent read for the summer. To clarify, "indulgent reads" are the literary equivalent of American Idol. I shouldn't watch it, there's no logical reason why I do, but every season it just sort of happens.

In actual news, Misty and I are lizard-sitting for the week, which means we can't call the land-couple and tell them that the bathtub faucet is literally streaming hot water involuntarily. Eh, utilities are covered in full by the rent But still it holds true: "What a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive." Speaking of which, my car (Betsy) was booted today, and thanks to the dear ol' roomie and her concern, I am once again on the straight and narrow in regards to municipal law. Friends are awesome.