Clean Well Lighted Place

Black Death

2010-04-06T13:19:00.005-04:00

I've been spending some of my morning posting recent stories on my facebook page regarding the Upper Big Branch Mine tragedy. Again, a West Virginia coal-mining "accident" has made national headlines as families of the miners and other West Virginians begin to mourn their fallen brothers. And I feel safe calling them brothers, calling them family. While not from Coal Country (my home mountains are laced with sandstone, not black fuel), I feel a kinship with all West Virginians, so I mourn. And I am enraged.

The coal industry has long been the backbone of West Virginia's economy. Countless jobs and individuals are dependent on the giants, like Massey Energy. I understand that. I know that until alternative energy sources are researched that coal keeps my lights turned on, keeps my laptop running. For now, coal is necessary.

What is not necessary is neglect. Neglect that comes at the cost of lives, at least 25 in the past 24 hours. Four years ago, Sago had us in an uproar. Mismanaged public appearances (our esteemed Governor Manchin claiming all was well when just the opposite was true), repackaged PR campaigns, supposed renewed regulation vigor have come up short. Again.

In December 2007, Joe Manchin takes to federal court to defend Massey Energy (among others) when federal regulations threatened to lessen "productivity."

Understory, the Rainforest Action Network's official blog, reported on the proceedings:

Let me say that again, Joe Manchin came out against federal regulations that would prevent companies like Massey Energy from dumping waste rock and dirt into WV rivers and streams.

As did the WV State Journal: their take on the same story:

Coal company executives have said repeatedly the federal rulings would curtail coal production in southern West Virginia -- production that generates hundreds of jobs, tens of millions of dollars each year in payroll and millions in severance taxes and sales taxes.

and

The Manchin administration correctly argued that West Virginia mining operators have been producing coal under the existing statutes for decades. It points out that West Virginia operators are forced to meet tougher federal standards than operators in other states, and those barriers are certain to cut into production.

Obviously, each source has its slant. Though, it's clear, from either story, that Governor Manchin opposed further regulation. Opposed.

25 dead. But at least productivity is stable.

Well, that was 2007. What do we know in 2010? National coverage of the story has birthed some disturbing statistics.

Moneynews report on most recent disaster:

Though the cause of the blast was not known, the operation run by Massey subsidiary Performance Coal Co. has a history of violations for not properly ventilating highly combustible methane gas, safety officials said.

AP report on Upper Big Branch Mine

In the past year, federal inspectors fined [Massey Energy] more than $382,000 for repeated serious violations involving its ventilation plan and equipment at Upper Big Branch.

A Forbes.com snippet reports that Massey Chief Executive John Blankenship has lost count of the number of times his company has been fined for failing to meet regulatory standards.

I found all of this in the past hour. Imagine what an in-depth analysis would unearth. I implore you, do your own research. Follow the links provided here, educate yourself.

Do something. Write, call, email, complain. Form a coalition, let your elected officials know you won't stand for this. Tell them you value life over productivity.

Find and contact your state legislator.
Send a message to Gov. Manchin
Send a message to Robert C. Byrd

Contact your national senator
Contact your national representative

Foster public awareness: email your local newspaper or the Charleston Gazette: gazette@wvgazette.com.

Curriculum ideas

2009-12-03T16:10:00.004-05:00

Some thoughts I'm tossing around in regards to eventually teaching composition, despite my lack of classroom experience.

Open class by reading selections from or all of Persepolis. Use this to introduce cultural difference and power structures.

Marjane feels confined in Iran, but liberated in France. Yet, in France she has to give up part of herself.
Anzuldua and Borderlands
Have students brainstorm, freewrite, explore their own borderlands (perhaps journal?)
Have students create a project (any kind, writing, comic, find some good genres)

Evaluation of sources

Choose some controversial social issues and have students research perspectives on these issues.
What do these perspectives leave out? How can their ideas be better developed?
What points of view are valued, which are undervalued?
"Blaming the victim" selections

Application

research a local issue (Marshall, Huntington, own hometown)
gather perspectives from news sources, community leaders, and individuals
global research: does this issue occur elsewhere? why/why not? How have other communities dealt with this
How might "borderlands" be at play in this issue?
write a "white paper" on findings and conclusions

Creative reinterpretation

another open-genre project: explore the issue from your white paper and apply it to your personal experience
perhaps project should reflect a solution or why a solution is unattainable?
alternate areas of exploration?

A Simple Request

2009-09-09T22:28:00.002-04:00

I'm really really really really happy that my brother is my roommate. But, by convincing him to live with me, I've robbed him of that all-important college ritual of dorm life. Thus, he doesn't have many "guy" friends. So, if you're male, and not annoying, will you be friends with my brother?

Note: Older brother and Baby not included, but Army uniform is free at no extra cost!

Complaining

2009-07-17T13:21:00.003-04:00

It has been a relatively eventful week at work. The number 2 employee (whose attendance and timeliness is lackluster to begin with) is off for the next 4 weeks. The supervisor has been out yesterday and today, and will be gone Thursday and Friday next week as well. Normally, having 2 people out shouldn't be a big deal, especially for me, the one with the least seniority and the least amount of responsibility. Of course, all of that is just speculation.

Yesterday, which marked a week of no air-conditioning in the office, the computer that houses the accounting software crashed, and it was up to me, the part-time student worker, to solve the problem because I'm the only person literate enough to use the computer. Still, no problem. I'm an industrious woman, I rose to the challenge, made some great decisions and multi-tasked us back to productivity. Today is a different story. The computer is back up and running, thankfully, as we have had 4 times the usually amount of mail needing postage today. Despite this, I spent my first hour at work (after everyone else had been here for 2) getting things organized and proving to the senior employee that the software was, in fact, functioning properly. I'm finished with rising to the occasion.

It's ridiculously hot in here; Huntington is a sauna and living here without air-conditioning is enough to make someone sick, which I've been for three days. Why should it be my responsibility to manage these things? Why am I the only one here thinking clearly and willing to work? This mail room was totally my haven, and the people here used to be nice and conscientious. That doesn't happen anymore. I'm counting down, 3 weeks and I'm finished.

Blantant Referral

2009-06-01T15:16:00.001-04:00

Linda Holmes of NPR's "Monkey See" Blog has this brilliant post about/to Pixar.

This is the post.

Read and enjoy.

The Women of Sherlock Holmes get the Victorian Treatment

2009-05-19T19:46:00.004-04:00

This, my friends, is the freshly released trailer for Guy Ritchie's adaptation of Sir Author Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes:

And a link for those of you reading via email.

I like Robert Downey, Jr. as Holmes, and his portrayal will certainly make the character more accessible than Holmes was in any of Doyle's stories. However, I am a bit perturbed to see most of the women acting as eye candy and humor fodder for the leading man. Not to say that Doyle himself was particularly progressive with his women, but at least they were more realistic than the females seem to be in this film. After all, the first Holmes case that Doyle published involved Irene Adler, one of the few able to foil the world class sleuth.

Now, I'm not saying that I expect ground-breaking feminist manifestos in so-called blockbusters, all I ask for is simple courtesy. For instance, Wolverine is both a good story and a great action flick, and no where along the way are bosoms bursting from dresses nor are meek maids flurrying off to preserve their innocence. In fact, Wolverine's love interest, Kayla Silverfox, aside from her strange name, is a well-rounded self-respecting character with complicated motivations and emotions.

In the past 50 years Hollywood has overcome racism, homophobia, and a number of social injustices. Isn't it time women had better treatment in films?

Reminder

2009-05-01T22:10:00.004-04:00

Sometime after finals, I'm going to come back and relate, in detail, all the reasons why Stepbrothers is one of my favorite comedies. For now, a good scene (warning, contains strong language and flatuence:

And a hyperlink for those of you who read this via email: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UT-j_LSWM_A

Happier

2009-04-23T11:39:00.004-04:00

While my post title corresponds to an ironically-named Guster song about a biddy being a biddy, I sincerely feel great this week.

Going to the Guster concert on Sunday put a lot of things into perspective for me, as did a phone conversation with my mom, during which she observed that I had been under an uncharacteristically high level of stress this semester. So, yeah, I've been stressed, only I haven't realized it until recently, and now that I have, I actually feel better.

It probably helps that summer will be here in just a few weeks, and that comprehensive exams may soon be nonexistent in Marshall's English department (fingers crossed).

As far as that silly party contemplation is concerned, I'm kind of over that, and, again, must apologize for being rather melodramatic. That stuff too, is certainly in perspective now, and to quote another singer "I'm just happy being me," and it is quite a relief.

Baseball is fun

2009-04-20T23:10:00.002-04:00

The National League central division is off to an exciting start.

Rivals St. Louis Cardinals and Chicago Cubs (my fave) are tied for first place.

Longtime trailers, the Cincinnati Reds, with the youngest roster in the division, have won their past two series against the typically strong Brewers and Astros, respectively.

As a habitual Cubs fan and a geographic Reds fan, I'm looking forward to this summer :).

...not that any of you understand much of my baseball lingo.

What it's like to have Social Anxiety

2009-04-18T23:53:00.004-04:00

You get dressed up for a party and feel great about it, have talked yourself into giddy excitement, prepared clever anecdotes, and remain poised and confident all day. Then you get to the party and become afraid that no one likes you, that no one wants to speak with you, and that those seemingly inane whispers are really about how no one wants you at the party.

Yes, I try to talk myself out of such illusions. I, in fact, was heartily invited to a party, was talked to throughout the party, had a drink, and tried to look happy and engaged. But, having social anxiety erases all my logic, all my poise, and all of my confidence. It's like a big furry monster stands in front of me the entire time I'm in public. I can't every get around him (thankfully, he smells like vanilla spice, though), and no one can see around him to look at me.

I am aware that I am not an alien. I am aware that I am accomplished, knowledgeable, classy, pretty (maybe?), and funny as all get out, but when I try to project any of these admirable traits, this furry, vacuum monster keeps it all to himself. Then I get anxious, then I get agitated, then I convince myself that I am so anxious that I'm making everyone else anxious, so I start to berate myself for being anxious, but I don't know how not to be anxious, which makes me even angrier with myself, and the cycle continues.

After a few hours into the ordeal, I've fought with myself and this crazy furry monster so much, that I'm tired and cranky, and I fell more than anything else, guilty.

But now, I'm back in my hovel, wishing that I had performed better (for me, it is a performance). I'm calculating and examining the different, clever things I should have said, the different people I should have talked to, the different person I should have been.

It's not as if I don't like who I am, I do, I just assume no one else likes who I am. I always hold part of myself back. I don't know why. Well, in certain instances I do. Sometimes it's a matter of not wanting to hurt someone else, and sometimes it's classic fear of rejection.

What's really unfair about this whole anxiety thing though, what I really don't get is that as everyone else gets better at socializing, networking, friendships, cocktail parties, victory speeches, I get worse, or, at best stand still. There's no handbook for this, no text or novel to teach me how to move forward, no etiquette book on how to be human. And, since I'm a person who loves learning, that prospect is scary.

I think, for serious, that I need a therapist. I tried the prescription drugs, and that didn't work, I ended up being depressed all the time, and it was scary. I can't do that again. I shouldn't be punished for something I can't control.

Of course, I know that I have friends and family who love me. I know this, but this is not a battle I can fight with comrades, this monster keeps me from talking to you about it, from asking for help. But I know you're there for me when I'm ready :).

2009-03-19T23:01:00.004-04:00

This illuminating Educause interview with Michael Wesch takes "celebrity" to town. If you haven't seen/heard/read about Wesch's work before, you should definitely check it out. He has a youtube account, a blog, and all sorts of cool stuff.

Why You Won't Hear From Me Next Week

2009-03-19T19:41:00.004-04:00

Graduate school is not so considerate with the "Spring Break" thing. Here's the assignment/reading rundown. I have included page amounts to induce sympathy:

Literary Criticism

Read Revolutionary Road 335 pp. *
Prep for research paper *
Write short paper (2 pp.) *

18th Cent. Restoration Lit

Read Evelina 337 pp. *
Read Sam Johnson selections in Norton 117 pp. *
Prep for/design presentation
Write short paper (1 p.) *

English Writers

Read Turbott Wolfe ~100 pp.
Read Orwell and Guha essays ~30 pp.
Answer Discussion questions
Read The Heat of the Day 372 pp.

Totals

Pages to Read: 1,291
Novels to Read: 4
Essays/Selections to Read: 3

*And because Dad always asks, I have noted the assignments that were not on the syllabi, or have had due dates changed.

I honestly love school work, but an assignment list this extensive is a bit much for a week, and indeed, is much more than I typically have to do even when classes are in session. I guess it's a good thing that there's not much at home to distract me, well, except for my nephew :-D.

In Re: "Facebook is Academic"

2009-03-04T22:42:00.005-05:00

Hmmm, users are about ready to have more control over the news feed:

NYTimes Bits Blog

I particularly like Zuckerberg's quasi-philosophical mission:

We are going to converge people and public figures to having the same kind of presence on the site.

Socialism may never make it to the White House, but it will make it to Facebook. Take that Adam Smith!

A Brief Observation

2009-03-04T22:34:00.001-05:00

Extroverts will always be an enigma to me. Or should that say, "Extroverts will always be enigmas to me"?

Awake

2009-03-03T23:08:00.004-05:00

I'm trying to wind down for bedtime by watching King of the Hill, as usual. The accents may be Texan, but somehow they remind me of that Greenbrier County twang. Anyway, in this particular episode, 13-year-old Bobby joins the Quiz Bowl team as the pop culture expert. Of course, the other kids on the team are uptight nerds who are accompanied by Stanford-pushing, pageant parents who view losing as a sign of academic desolation. In my Quiz Bowl days, my parents were supportive enough to break out the mini-van at 4 a.m., but thankfully stopped short of pushing Mountain Dew and caffeine pills.

In fact, while any other similarities between Bobby's Quiz Bowl team and mine of years past are nil, the episode nonetheless remind me of competitive trivia tournaments. Even though I was never the best answer-er, I loved the thrill of the chase, the honest-to-goodness adrenaline rush each time a new round began. And I definitely loved knowing the answers to those literature questions, not to mention that one time I answered a math question correctly before any of the kids from P. South reached for their buzzers. Of course those victories are overshadowed by a memorable incident in which I confused Stephen Douglas with Kirk Douglas and shouted, "Spartcus!" in response to an American history question.

Now, much of the skills and facts I learned from quiz bowl are obsolete, save my Jeopardy! battles with Dad or Lacie. I wish there was a way of harnessing the energy I had back then, just the pure enjoyment of competition. Perhaps when I finally get to the dissertation stage(s) of my degrees, the feeling will be similar, but I still miss sitting at a long table with the guys, and fixating on red or green buzzers, which usually rang in fifths (intervals, that is).

Anyone else have cool/interesting/quixotic/random memories to share?

Facebook is Academic

2009-02-25T22:59:00.005-05:00

I recently subscribed to Twitter, and I'm a bit addicted. I enjoy the fast-paced news updates and snarky remarks NPR commentators post. However, I've realized that some take Twitter very seriously, and continuously update their daily activities. "How self-absorbed!" I initially thought. But then, I considered the ways in which the internet, social networking sites in particular, have become a hub for self-expression. Yet, this self expression is often confined to a strict, unofficial set of parameters, so is this method of self expression enough of a release for us?

The modernists are known for tweaking old forms or calling those forms into question. Sometimes they even created entirely new ways of writing (i.e. Stream of Consciousness). They also were groundbreaking crusaders of the notion that everyday people mattered, and their identities were important. In the digital age, we sometimes feel like each of us has a venue for expressing her identity, but the most popular methods of this expression are constraining and at times anti-individualism.

Ergo...

I have this brilliant idea for a research paper:

Online social networks and Identity formation. I'm thinking of tying it to Ulysses and maybe some other modernist stuff. I have a neat list of connections, etc. that I wrote during class, but it's in the other room in my backpack.

In the interest of Curriculum Vitae-building I need to submit stuff to conferences soon. There's a strong composition/rhetoric trend in the field lately, as well as discussions on integrating new technology in the classroom, so this idea is fitting for those things. Although, I'd rather act like an old codger and only read literature and criticism, boring my students with novels they will never see as relevant to their daily lives.

I may use some of the research Dr. Michael Wesch is doing via his Digital Ethnography course at Kansas State U. That particular project both gathers important research from the field and itself is one of Wesch's pedagogical experiments in integrating digital technology into the classroom.

Thesis Idea

2009-02-13T22:58:00.002-05:00

Tristram Shandy meets Ulysses.

I've found this article wherein the critic claims Tristram Shandy, an 18th century narrative filled with digressions and witty allusions and references, is an allegory for Ireland's seeking independence from Britain. There's no end to symbolism, allegory, and allusions in Ulysses, which is about a scholar trying to get out of Ireland, but never making it.

Also, both are types of epics, TS is about Tristram trying to tell his story, the storytelling is the story. Ulysses is both about Stephen, the main character, trying to find a "home" and about Joyce trying to find out how to tell this complicated story.

A lot of the time, I forget how much I love literature, or even why I'm trying to be a scholar. Then, a literary enigma comes along, and I fall in love all over again...maybe that's why I'm still single...

Anyway, Irish lit may turn out to be my thing. Yay!

Finally, A Saturday in Hermitude

2009-02-07T15:31:00.004-05:00

This is nothing against my friends or family, but I love just to be alone sometimes. It's very rejuvinating and calming. Some days I just need to get away from all you people and just focus on me. I promise, by Monday I'll be lonely as all get out and will start planning dinners and movie-goings like crazy :).

In re my last post, I think I am an INTJ, that just seems to fit me better. The fact that I am set on deciding a type kind of indicates that I am a judger. I know that it can seem a silly thing to contemplate my Myers-Brigg type, but it's not like I'm fixated or anything. I'm not using this blog to contemplate the meaning of life or to expound upon the depth of work I do for literary studies. Nope, this place is mostly for fun. If it seems to get a little too serious, it's because I've run out of academic work to do (ha!) and need a mental exercise to keep in shape.

That said, I'm jumping into research this weekend because I have two upcoming presentations, and I'm going home-home in a couple of weeks to welcome back Jeremiah. It's hard to believe that the little bro is finished with all of his training. I've become used to intermittent communication from him, so finally having him back in WV is like an extra-special gift. Still, the longer he is gone, the more I appreciate/understand the work he is dedicated to doing.

Anyway, this research, I love it. It is a blessing to read these articles and see how the pieces connect. More importantly, I dig reading other scholars' work and using that to come up with an original idea. It's like the ultimate problem solving adventure; there's no denying that literary studies is the place I should be.

On another note, my anxiety is acting up a little this week. I'll find myself clenching my teeth or sitting real tense-like. I can't really pinpoint the locis original of the anxiety, so I can't make it go away. At this point, thankfully, it's nothing to worry about, and that I'm catching it before it gets out of control is always a plus. Still, maybe it's time to break out the Tai-Chi DVDs again.

Identity Crisis: The Myers-Briggs Edition

2009-02-04T23:28:00.004-05:00

I may be an INTP instead of an INTJ...

The difference between being a "P," or perceiver, and a "J," a judger is basically decision-making. Both types analyze the world and look at it similarly, usually as a collection of systems that need to be understood and analyzed. Judgers usually need to find an efficient end and applicable solution to their discoveries. Also, judgers work toward a final solution that is logical. Perceivers, however, don't necessarily need to come to a conclusion or make a significant decision. For instance, let us say there really is more than one way to skin a cat, Way A and Way B. Both the perceiver and the judger will note the pro's and cons of each method. The Judger, however will need to conclusively choose a method, while the perceiver is content to admit that both methods could be equally effective.

I'm more laid back than most in that I can readily see others' perspectives and see no need to change them. Then again, because other perspectives are readily plausible, I constantly question my own point of view. Still, I'm interested in the end result

So, the things about an INTJ that I totally get (source material here):

value intelligence, knowledge, and competence, and typically have high standards in these regards, which they continuously strive to fulfill.
constantly gathers information and makes associations about it
The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand.
are natural leaders, although they usually choose to remain in the background until they see a real need to take over the lead.
They are the supreme strategists - always scanning available ideas and concepts and weighing them against their current strategy, to plan for every conceivable contingency.
INTJs spend a lot of time inside their own minds, and may have little interest in the other people's thoughts or feelings (this one seems a little rude, and I have to admit that it's true, but I work to overcome this apathy :))

And the things about an INTP that I totally get (source material here):

"absent-minded professors", who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions
minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories.
likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people.
very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.
has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. (double tap on this one)
it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly.
are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths
may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out, moving on to the next thing.
A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (intuitive thinking) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data. (from Typelogic)

Win Ben Stein's Money (Please)

2008-12-29T17:03:00.005-05:00

I've been a little hesitant to blog about Ben Stein's Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed for a few reasons. First, I generally do not care for documentaries because they're typically biased and very tricky to navigate. I'd rather just read about whatever I'm interested in. Secondly, I'm not much of a scientist. And third, Jameson found the movie to proffer intriguing questions and issues (you should definitely read that post for yourself, which is very interesting aside from its affiliation with the movie), and I will have to disagree with that slightly. It is not that I entirely disagree or agree with Stein's conclusions, I just found his method of argument less than compelling.

I will also add this bit of a disclaimer: I treat most movies the same, regardless of their themes or moral points of view. Generally, I gauge whether the piece tells an intriguing story or uncovers "truths" in interesting ways. With documentaries, that analysis is slightly different in that instead of a plot, per se, there is an argument to sift through. In these cases, I tend to evaluate the argument, the inclusion or exclusion of certain facts, and whether the documentary will serve any good.

As a sample, Michael Moore's films are very biased, rarely offer concrete facts, and do little than try to "shed light" on a so-called injustice. Contrastingly, Morgan Spurlock's documentaries do not propose to come to greater truths like Moore's films claim to do, and instead follow Spurlock on some sort of personal journey. Because Spurlock presents no facade behind which he operates, I generally like his documentaries. Aside from that, they're usually funny and offer shout-outs to West Virginia.

In Stein's case, my assessment is lukewarm. During the first 40 mi
nutes, he does a great job of demonstrating the scientific community's exclusion of Intelligent Design. What came after, seemed to be a little overkill. Stein rightly illustrates Darwinian connections to Nazism and less extreme forms of eugenics, as if to convey that unchecked adherence to any theory can lead to extremism. Of course, the same can be said of most religions, not that Stein is attempting to have an Academia vs. Christianity debate.

Stein's interview with Richard Dawkins, however is the most climactic and illuminating sequence of the film. In this interview, Stein questions Dawkins about the exclusion of any non-Darwinian approaches in the scientific community. The importance of this interview is not so much as what Dawkins says, much of which the film has already established, but its illustratation Dawkin's unquestioning adherence to Darwinian evolution the scientific approach, and Stein's adherence to the idea that there is something wrong with that.

I'm sure that I have a bias against this film simply because it is a documentary, and I fail to see how the film answers any questions or even asks any new ones. That the academic community is traditionally non-Christian is not a new thing, nor is the debate of Darwinism vs. Intelligent Design. Personally, I don't see that Darwinism and Intelligent Design (or even Creationism) are mutually exclusive, and even the film says as much. Ultimately, I don't see how the film was particularly effective or convincing, but I suppose it is good to give voice and credence to a side of the debate that usually remains silent in the mass media, aside from any shout-outs James Dobson or Pat Robertson may give.

As always, feel free to disagree!

What Would You Do With Seven Pounds

2008-12-25T13:22:00.002-05:00

Apparently, the blogosphere is full of Christmas musings today, and I find that strangely appropriate. I never put much stock in holidays, including Christmas, so whenever I bump into a celebration, it's always sort of unexpected. I love that Christmas enables my family to be relatively (pun intended) together for a couple of weeks, but I can do without the presents and elaborate dinners. I do love the church services, though.

I don't know why I feel that way about Christmas. I'm never filled with this overwhelming love or mercy that others seem to acquire, nor am I especially cynical or overly stressed. I guess I wish Christmas could just be.

But it's been a good holiday thus far. I've visited with all the people I wanted to, watched all the Christmas specials I love, and eaten tons of sugar-coated and salt-covered snacks. Oh, and I learned to make homemade mocha that's almost as good as the stuff the lady at school concocts.

Let me go a little pop culture and tell you about Will Smith's latest Seven Pounds. I can't really say much without spoiling the movie, though. The narrative structure of the film is slightly disrupted, think Momento or Pulp Fiction, so part of the fun is trying to figure out what's going on. Still, the movie is still really cool, save a rather misplaced love scene that involves Smith's Ben Thomas and Rosario Dawson's Emily Posa, who is on the verge of heart failure, and probably shouldn't be engaging in any sort of strenuous activities.

Without giving too much away, I'll just point out that although the film's ending is expected, Ben's journey is captivating, and maybe a bit inspirational. That journey highlights the struggle one makes in deciding to be a sacrifice for others, literally and figuratively. Of course, that reminds me of Christ and His ultimate sacrifice, which ironically makes me think of The Dark Knight. If Seven Pounds follows Ben's conflicts leading up to a sacrifice, The Dark Knight hints at the staggering benefits of that sacrifice. At the end of the film, soon to be Commissioner, James Gordon, explains to his son the importance of Batman:

SON: Why's he running, Dad?
GORDON: Because we have to chase him
SON: He didn't do anything wrong.
GORDON: ...So we'll hunt him because he can take it.

It's really to read the crucifiction story into many superhero tales, and I think this Batman one is oddly appropriate. Christ didn't do anything, wrong, but He took on all the punishment for all the crap we churn up here on earth. It's comforting to know that we're taken care of, no matter what. And that is what Christmas is all about. Well, that food, and Red Ryder BB guns.

Dude's Got Skilz

2008-12-12T20:39:00.001-05:00

I found this on collegehumor.com.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Cubs Watch: Winter Edition

2008-12-11T16:07:00.003-05:00

I'll admit it, I'm addicted to baseball. It started when I came to college, and I found that watching MLB on TV was the most relaxing thing to do at the end of a long day. While, that still holds true, I've become a bit of a fanatic of the sport, and even more so of the Chicago Cubs. So, from time to time, I may come here to rant about the sport and/or the best team ev-ah, and today is one of those times.

Recently, the Cubs have tried finalizing a trade for Jake Peavy, a recent Cy Young award winner. One of the conditions of the trade was all-around awesome player Mark DeRosa. Thankfully, albeit unexpectedly and without reason, the Cubs have backed out of the trade.

DeRosa is one of those cool players who knows the game well, is a consistently good batter, and can play almost any position on the field. His loss would leave a major hole in the Cubs starting lineup, and I'm not quite sure why the Cubs would see Peavy worth all that. The Cubs have a great pitching rotation, and aside from a few kinks (mainly from upstart Rich Hill and Ted Lilly), they had a good season. However, the Cubs need to work on their defense otherwise. So I say bring in some southpaw batters if you can, but altogether, get a strong outfield to complement the stellar infield, and you may have another chance at the World Series, which thankfully, doesn't come with an expiration date.

Yay!

2008-12-10T16:07:00.003-05:00

My friend Josh bought me this unexpected Christmas gift:

I still have two major papers to finish before Monday, but this DVD will be great company :).

I Still Don't Know What This Song Means

2008-12-07T21:50:00.003-05:00

An a capella version of "Bohemian Rhapsody." It's really quite good. I've always thought this would be a great song for a French horn combo to play, but until Dad writes out that arrangement, I'll make do with this one. Enjoy!

Here's the youtube video:

If that doesn't work for you, here's a link to the video elsewhere:

Blessings

2008-12-06T20:45:00.003-05:00

I feel strangely connected to everything tonight. Maybe it's the Christmas season, the dusting of snow outside, or just an overwhelming feeling of blessedness.

Most of this year, I've felt very separated from most things, friends, family, and God. While all of those are very scary, feeling estranged from my Father is indescribable. I know that sometimes it feels like God isn't there (when of course he is) and this feeling of "absence" is key to spiritual growth, these absences feel like they occur more often than they used to. Tonight I'm thankful that I feel Him with me again.

I guess I feel a lot of pressure, mostly self-imposed, to get my life started. I see others moving forward, finding their purposes, be it mission work, marriage, whatever. I feel like I need to do more, that I need to go all Thoreau and suck the marrow out of life. But before I begin any sort of life journey, I have to get my spirit in the right place, and I'm working on that.

In times like these, I'm always reminded of Samuel and Ruth. Both of them became followers of God seemingly because other people chose that life for them. In Samuel's case, his mother dedicated him to God before he was even born. Ruth sort of married into the "God family," but even after her husband died, she stuck around. Still, following God was a whole-hearted choice for both of them, for Samuel when he heard God's voice in the night, and for Ruth when Boaz blessed her hard work in the fields.

These two figures stand out because they both turned to God when almost everything else had been ruined for them. For the most part, they were walking alone in the world, then BOOM! God was there. God is there, no matter what, all the time. His presence will outlast any other in my life. I tend to forget that, though, then I spin in metaphorical circles looking for my lost path. If only I would look "up," then maybe I'd stop questioning everything.

Music I Like

2008-12-02T23:12:00.008-05:00

Ben Folds, where have you been all my life? It's always amazing when a lot of musicians, or seemingly incompatible musicians make something soul-searching. Check it out, there's even a French horn in there. Rock on!

And because I'm addicted to YouTube for the evening, here's another sample of two very different musicians making beautiful sounds together. Of course, this one has a more intimate sound The first time I heard it I was reminded of all the times I've every played an instrument or sang with others. I miss that. I guess music allows a transcendence I never get from writing, and it's a transcendence that's accessible to everyone, but I think that if you're a musician you're more apt to realize it. And yes, I may have played this video more than 5 times today, if you were wondering.

If I could be best friends

2008-12-01T21:37:00.004-05:00

with anyone from M*A*S*H, it would be either Father Mulchahy or Charles Emerson Winchester, III. Maybe both, they kind of complement each other.

What I Wonder About:

2008-12-01T18:42:00.006-05:00

What triggers memories? Sometimes it's fairly obvious, like a song, unexpected email, story, or TV show. Other times they just pop into my head seemingly sourceless. Maybe memories work like life lessons, or those Bible verses we had to remember as children. They come when we need them, offer a light in bleakness, or even remind us of what to do, given a current situation.
How much of recluse can I be before someone gets mad at me?
Why is watching TV or reading emails a clear indication that I don't want to be interrupted, but when I'm reading a book, or writing, it's perfectly acceptable to make me break away from my reverie?
When will I feel comfortable in worship? All my life in church and Sunday services still make me feel like an awkward teenage punk rocker being dragged into the sanctuary by a well-meaning and overly forceful aunt. If I could go to church in an invisibility cloak and sing louder than everyone else, without them actually hearing me, I'd be there 24/7. I think this may be what Heaven will be like. Not really, though. I change for Heaven, it doesn't change for me, right?
Can I purchase a Thought-to-Dialogue-Translator? That would rock, and would make me a much better conversationalist.
Why does no one in Huntington seem happy in the winter? Do all the citizens fall victim to Seasonal Depression? Eek, maybe it's because the City Council already spent the money for Christmas decorations on their salaries...If that's the case, then I want my "user fee" back. (Yes, I have to pay to work in Huntington, a 2% user fee, a tax really...)
Could I live in Northern England if I didn't have a car?
Irish modernists or American Ethnic Postmodernists?

Sorry for the Melodrama

2008-12-01T17:27:00.002-05:00

I'll try to do less of that in the future :).

Why Die Hard is the best action movie of all time

2008-11-26T15:12:00.000-05:00

1. Alan Rickman as the sympathetic mastermind villain with a voice that is simultaneously terrifying and sexy

2. John McClane is a flawed hero (afraid of heights, smokes, drinks, leaves his wife)

3. John McClane is a noble hero (sacrifices self for others, cunning, witty, kicks butt without wearing shoes).

4. Holly Gennero is a "tough female lead" who shows strength through her mind and her bravery. And just because McClane goes all action hero, doesn't mean she's going to remarry him. This chick can survive on her own.

5. Argyle is the unaware limo driver offering suitable doses of comic relief and acts as a surrogate for the audience to relate to McClane.

6. Creepy eastern Europeans in a movie that comes out right after the end of the Cold War.

7. Reginald VelJohnson plays a great small time cop with big time loyalty. He is the only one who believes McClane and sticks with our hero, without even meeting face to face until the very end.

8. MacGuyver problem solving skills taken to a new level. McClane and Gennero play brilliant mind games against the terrorists, making many other action films appear formulaic and rather idiotic by comparison.

9. Those quriky stress-induced lines:

911 DISPATCH: This channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
MCCLANE: No F***g Sh** lady! Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza!?

10. The only good movie from the 80s that John Hughes had nothing to do with.

The Gilmore Girls

2008-11-26T12:41:00.001-05:00

are completely awesome. I can't stop watching. Somebody help me please, I have a paper to write.

A New Poet - Bridget Gray

2008-11-22T15:42:00.000-05:00

String Theory, Take 1

2008-11-21T23:21:00.003-05:00

I have some string.
At some point, I cut up this string into smaller strings,
although my amount of string is infinite.

Some of this string turns into twine, it
weaves with other pieces of string and ties itself,
well, ties itself to whatever I tell it too.

Some string is taught, rigid, strong,
unbreakable, and steady. This forest-green string travels
to the forest, to a house, to rooms, to a home. Most of this
string stays tied to the same place, well it used to.
Now, a piece knots in a hollow, another in a valley, a third to
a spa, and a fourth to Arizona. This is my favorite string.

My second favorite string is all blue. Blue is the color of choice.
These choice strings are conscious, tight, and permanent. There
are four of these strings. The oldest, wow,
the oldest mixes with the dark green, but lurches
to Virginia. The most unbreakable string, and though
muddied, has no cuts, frays, nor has it ever needed mending.
My shortest string is pure blue, and lives 10 blocks away in an attic.
A scary math class, music, and pizza created this one.
My longest string stretches to Asia, it too formed with music.
The newest string is tenuous, but strong. It lives in a hardware store with two dogs.

I don't know what to say about my other string.
I envision it daily, its clear, unclaimed structure, and through it,
peruse for paths across which to stretch my string, and
tie a double knot at a new location.
Sometimes, I find a newness, a novelty, but rarely
does its string survive an expiration date. That's ok,
if string were flying everywhere, I couldn't handle it.

But I still have this wavering string. It has the strong
color, like it's already claimed. Green and blue weaving into each other,
but also, also
a hint of blue-violet that is minimal, but prevalent.
I'm not sure what to do with this string, I'm not sure where to tie it,
if it is to be tied, or if it would even hold in place with super glue.
I'm ok with that. String should be dealt with carefully,
because when it unties, something is lost forever.

Sex Ed.

2008-11-19T22:43:00.004-05:00

Today some girls and I were at work discussing dating and sex. To summarize objectively, I'll simply say that I admitted to never having a boyfriend. They went on to tell me the ways to attract a man. I said I didn't want just any man, but someone I found intellectually stimulating, someone I could talk with about theology, literature, etc. Looks weren't that important to me. The girls claimed I needed to date some duds to get some practice in. Hmm...they also said that waiting until marriage to have sex could be a silly thing.

But, there is something important about waiting, not just because God says we should, which is reason enough, but because indulging in sex nonchalantly diminishes its importance. If or when that time comes for me, it will be ground breaking because it signals an important connection and involves a heavy level of commitment. I'm not too brash or conservative or naive admitting that.

What Smo wants in her "love story"

God's blessing
Comfort
Physical purity

Now, I'm not impatient for this to happen, if it supposed to then it will, whenever I am ready. My question is now, are these unrealistic desires? I am known to lose perspective sometimes, so perhaps I'm doing that now.

Some poetry practice

2008-11-13T20:33:00.004-05:00

I miss writing poems,
not rhyming, a little rhythm,
a little nonsense,
a little bit of me.

But my metaphorical muse is absent,
wherever it may have gone.
I still enjoy words, love them as companions, as friends.

***

A HAIKU

A still, cool lake bed
shifts under strain from overhead
sky trees empty air.

*****

A BAND POEM

I've always liked tile over concrete better
than any frayed carpet, either flat or shaggy.
A little bit of clutter surrounding a round empty space
feels like home. Even better if there's monotonous chatter
that I hear but never listen to.
Yeah, that's my new happy place, or my old happy place renewed.
You can't really emulate that out here can you?
I've tried, but it hasn't worked out the way I thought it would.
But that's okay. In the interim, I'll stick to cherry wood
desks, meters, boxes, and alphabetic shelves.
Williams, you keep your red wheel barrow and silly chickens,
and I'll take surrogate parents, aunts and siblings.

2008-11-09T21:12:00.000-05:00

I don't know why...

2008-11-09T14:28:00.002-05:00

but I'm very happy and motivated today. I guess those prayers are starting to pay off.

I'm going to use this newfound bliss to be productive and thankful.

Yay!

Some Self Affirmation

2008-11-08T00:58:00.003-05:00

Whenever I check facebook or myspace, I get cornered by those side margin ads to go on some sort of diet. I don't need to go on a silly diet to feel better about myself. I may not be the thinnest woman in the world, and gosh darn it, I don't want to be.

I like me, inside and out, and you silly ad men are just going to have to deal with that. Not only are your methods of targeting women for fad diets sexist and ethically flawed, but needlessly ubiquitous on the internet. Sure, I could be healthier, many of us could, but appealing to women's insecurities is in bad taste, no matter how profitable.

Your shady tactics don't fool me, and thanks to your superficial appeals, I'm laughing myself through the evening and not feeling a bit guilty for eating those 5 cookies earlier today. After all, it was Friday, and I needed some chocolate. I owe myself that much for putting up with your rubbish.

Pardon me, Mr Darcy, May I have a moment of your time?

2008-11-06T21:22:00.001-05:00

I didn't get around to reading Pride and Prejudice until a few years ago. I looked at the task as a scholarly one, trying to broaden my horizons by studying literary periods I wasn't very familiar with. But, as is typical with most endeavors, I learned much more about myself than I did about liteary studies.

For those of you unfamiliar with the story, it is about this 20-ish girl, Lizzy Bennett, in late 18th century England. Lizzy has three younger sisters who are respectively a hermit, a boy crazy fashionista, and an impetuous tween. Lizzy's older sister Jane, however is quiet, reserved and endlessly kind. The novel follows Jane and Lizzy's stories of falling in love. Jane falls for the jovial and equally kind Mr Bingley. Bingley too, cares for Jane, but because Jane has made no indication of her affections, Bingley's BFF, the apparently snobbish and self-righteous Mr Darcy, convinces Bingley to stop pursuing Jane. Lizzy, who is calm, logical, and wittingly sarcastic throughout the novel, discovers Darcy's role in the affair shortly before Darcy admits to being in love wtih Lizzy. She is outraged, and rightly so, and sends him packing (not that he was sleeping over or anything, they didn't do that kind of stuff in Edwardian England). I won't ruin the tale by giving away the ending, but I will tell you that against my better judgement, I love this book.

While I admire Lizzy for her wise actions and continuous analysis of social situations, as well as her laugh out loud wit, I sympathize much more with Darcy. On the outside, he appears to be, well a complete snob, but under that facade, he struggles with protecting his best friend's feelings, feining off advances from Bingley's annoying sister, and logically approaching his love life. Throughout the novel (and the films), Darcy's role is an understated one, yet the writing (and acting) convey his underlying tensions and conflicts.

I guess I partly admire the old school gentlemanly-nesss Darcy projects, but I also know that most of the time I project an unanimated facade while much of my life dances by in my head, me as its only witness. In other words, I totally jive with Darcy's interiority. At the very least, I feel comfort in sympathizing with him because knowing that he thinks more than he says makes me feel a little less alone.

Let me more openly self-reflective for a moment. There's a lot that happens in my head that I never express or convey, a lot that I never share. That way of life has been with me for as long as I can remember, but lately, I've been chalking that up to social anxiety, and therefore deeming it a bad thing, thinking I should share my feelings more. But the more I consider it, I'm ok with living in my head, they like me here.

Still, I want to share me, all of me, with someone. I guess in a trite sort of way I'm ready to share my life with someone, but even more than that, I feel like I have a hole in my life somewhere, and my recognition of that gap has created such a longing in my heart that I can't find solace anywhere. This is not to say that the gap is sprititual, actually, God and I are doing fine, and we talk about this gap a lot. That doesn't make it any less painful, though.

To explain things a little differently, I feel whole as a sister, daughter, friend, worker, student, Christian, and other areas of my life. I don't feel like a whole woman, though. That might be a little anti-feminist of me, but that's how it is. I'm not sure I believe in soul mates or even that there is a perfect person in the world for all of us. I do believe that God has a plan for each of us, that He has one for me, and I take comfort in that. But this gap thing is new to me, it's like I miss something, that I'm mourning some sort of loss, but I don't know what it is.

I don't want you to read this as some sort of "I need a man" malady, but take it seriously. I'm struggling here with it, this sourceless pain I can't seem to shake, no matter how much I try.

Will Farrell for President

2008-07-23T23:33:00.002-04:00

I found this today, and it's super funny.

See more Will Ferrell videos at Funny or Die

I've been in a really Ferrell-esque mood lately. In most of his movies, Will operates as an overgrown child, or at best a misdirected frat boy. And I love it. What comes off as simple, trite jokes morphs into crazy hilarious, gut-wrenching humor that's just funny. I'm really looking forward to the release of Step Brothers, but I'll have to wait until I get back from England in order to see it...unless they have a similar release date in the UK. Regardless, here's a great interview with Ferrell, John C. Riley, and Adam McKay (director and co-writer of the film) via NPR. Conducting the interview is Terri Gross, probably the best interviewer since the late great Tim Russert. Enjoy.

England Looming

2008-07-21T20:44:00.004-04:00

Wow, my trip to England is a week away. I'm really excited. I could care less about the typical tourist-y sights, I just want to take in the culture. I want to listen to their accents and guess what part of the isles they are from.

I'm keeping a notebook and a camera with me at all times, so as to chronicle my escapades. It's going to be awesome.

In other news, I just found a fantastic cover album of the Footloose soundtrack. You can hear a snippet here. The entire album is available for listening from Doveman (the artist)'s website here. The covers have a dark inception as the artist dedicated the pieces to Jenny, the half sister of his best friend. Very sweet, I know.

The covers feature slow piano piano, an ocassional drum beat, both lead by vocals sounding similar to James Blunt. While the pieces are slow and at times gut-wrenching, the entire project is an illuminating take on 80s pop. Take a listen, you won't be sorry.

Another Take on 'The Dark Knight'

2008-07-20T16:42:00.001-04:00

Here, NPR's Bob Mondello says the same thing I just posted yesterday, only Mondello is a much better writer. Check it out.

This is both disturbing and funny...

2008-07-20T01:15:00.002-04:00

The Dark Knight Fulfills its Quest

2008-07-19T16:50:00.005-04:00

The latest installment in the Batman franchise The Dark Knight is arguably the best action film since 1989's Die Hard. Christopher Nolan's latest super hero story expertly combines tight action sequences, cat and mouse games, ensemble casting, and psychological enthrallment to create a high octane film that's actually pretty smart.

At the heart of the film's brilliance are not the tight, invigorating performances of Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, et al., but rather great writing. Running 2 hours and 20 minutes, the film has no dull moments as gripping action scenes alternate with bone chilling dialogue that is mentally and emotionally captivating.

Of course, the acting is superb, and the ensemble construction of the story allows every character to shine, from Michael Caine's enigmatic and mouthy Alfred to Ledger's creepy face-painted Joker. This movie is a no holds barred excellent film and has quite a few nominations headed its way.

Some Stuff I found in the News

2008-07-16T18:46:00.003-04:00

Guantanamo Bay is pretty much an ugly phrase these days, apart from its presence in the latest Harold and Kumar movie, but the place got an upside a while back when due process was granted to its detainees.

In the past, GB has been a sort of dumping ground for war criminals and civilians alike. Until recently, habeas corpus (evidence that a crime has been committed) was optional and torture was the norm. The recent granting of due process wherein detainees will have rights to lawyers and trials will hopefully put an end to torture and the bad rap the US is getting worldwide.

I really don't know what to make of this video release NPR reported on. Omar Khadr, now a 21-year-old detainee at GB was arrested at the age of 15 for supposedly throwing a grenade at an American soldier. He also happens to be the son of a Pakistani member of Al-Queda and has met Osama bin Laden.

Here is a great summation of the facts and implications as reported on by NPR

I reccommend listening/reading this article first, then head over to youtube.com to watch a video released by Khadr's lawyers. While watching the video, however, keep in mind that this is an edited piece that was compiled from about 7.4 hours of video GB officials released to Khadr's lawyers. The video has obviously been spliced together from the hours of tape, but nonetheless the scenes are still compelling. Watch it here.

From POV, I'd like to see some other footage, apart from this, and also would like to know what has happened to Khadr outside the questioning room, you know, in his cell(s) and such. I have long been opposed to the unlawful containment of these detainees and the torture that obviously takes place within the walls of GB. Torture itself is wrong, inhumane, and generally not worth its effort in evidence (just google Irish prisoners of war to see the historical inadequacies of torture). On a more personal note, with a brother in the service and international karma, I'd hate to think that my little buddy would become a POW and be subjected to endless torture by a vengeful and malicious al-Queda guard.

Let me know what you think.

Open Up!

2008-07-15T22:43:00.002-04:00

So, my little brother went to basic training today. I said goodbye to him yesterday, right before I came back to school, well work, actually, since it's summer.

Generally, I like a good solitary drive. I'd take them more often if it were for my car's dependence on foreign oil, but what are you gonna do? A long drive is the perfect opportunity to just think. I don't do nearly enough of just thinking, what with television, books, video games, and the internet always around to distract me. Thinking, non-distractedly is a lost art, and if I could harness it correctly, then I would be a more well-developed individual. The key, I think is to go deep, not just think about what clothes I have to wear, what chores I have to do once I get home, or anything like that. Instead, to think about the biggies, the meaning of life, my relationship with God, God Himself, love, angst, the future, you know all that stuff.

Well, you know me, always a sucker, but not willing to admit to it, I love listening to those sappy love songs on those adult contemporary radio stations. It was one of those idiotic, cheesily lyricized songs that made me start crying. Gosh, it was horrible. And you know what I did? Yep, I tried to think logically about why I was crying. Of course it's obvious that I flippin miss my little brother. I don't really need a reason other than that, but I tried to make myself find one. But yeah, I'm sad.

So, not a bit deal, right? I guess not. I'm sad because someone in my family will be out of reach for a long, long while, and I am really busted up about that. I'm going to be a little selfish and say that I'm happy that I'm sad because that means that I am not selfish. Does that make sense? It illustrates that I'm not just an anonymous pod on a solitary walk to an unknown destination. I am connected to someone else, to other people. And for the funk I've been in the past few months, it's just the reassurance I have been waiting for

News Flash!

2008-04-15T23:04:00.002-04:00

Los Angeles-In an attempt to sound remotely intelligent, "American Idol" judge Paula Abdul, when asked to comment on last week's results, said "I shall differ to Simon." Apparently, the songstress meant "defer," but did not have a strong enough relation with the English language to use it correctly.

A Solo Lesson from Star Wars

2008-04-13T17:40:00.003-04:00

I'm rewatching one of my favorite films Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back on my newly installed Dish Network receiver and dish. Admittedly, some of the special effects make me laugh, while others make me gasp, "Wow, they could do that in the '80s!?" But the SFX aren't the reason I joined up with the Wars crew, nope instead it was the roguish Han Solo.

Now, don't get to thinking that I'm ooh la la Harrison Ford or anything, because I'm not. He's pretty much a....well...a hack. Han Solo, though, is Ford's most stellar performance (yes, even above Indiana and Jack Ryan) because Han is such a brilliant character. In the first two movies he has this push and pull with the audience. He's such a cool bad boy with this awesome ride (you know, the Millennium Falcon and its speedy parceps) that we want him to stick around. But then, he's just so darn unreliable, and a smuggler that we think he could ruin the Rebellion's efforts.

A character like Han is more or less archetypal at this point, but his development in the Star Wars universe is singular. More than any other character, he keeps coming back fight after fight when he has no personal stake in the battle (except maybe Leia).

I guess the reason I personally like Han, aside from his mad blaster skills, is that he keeps his head about him. He's not simply driven by a cause like Leia, nor unrealistically altruistic like Luke. Instead, he's honest and smart. Not to mention, he has great hair.

I think that Han has something to teach us modern collegiates. It's important for us to not get wrapped up in bandwagon movements without considering all the facts ourselves. For Han, sticking with Leia and Luke happened to work out. But in the real world, however, it takes a lot of sly cunning and good judgment to keep us from becoming one of the crowd.

This guy blows my mind

2007-10-23T23:16:00.000-04:00

Watch the latest two videos. It's awesome.

Michael Wesch

What I'm Reading

2007-10-11T17:05:00.001-04:00

For those of you who don't know about PG Wodehouse, well you're missing out. This expatriate left his motherland of England to live out his life in the States. And as the saying goes (or doesn't) you can take the man out of Britain, but you can't take Britain out of the man, so Wodehouse kept writing about England. Most of his stories are about the 'inept elite', or more explicitly the aristocratic families whose members get themselves into endless troubles.

The series I just started concerns Mr. Mulliner and his various relatives. I think the volume I'm currently on focuses mostly on his nephews (Wodehouse is knows for his Shakesperean-like grasp on nephew/uncle relationships.

PG's works are unique, though, because of the simultaneous simplicity and academic challenge. His stories seem to be archetypal and set to comedic type. However, halfway through, he'll through out a crazy curveball; he's like the M. Night Shymalan of comedic short stories. In addition, he also makes these horribly witty allusions to classic literature and art, just barely falling short of parodic statements.

At the heart of his stories, though, is this inherent goodness that makes me smile, no matter the plot's outcome. It's gorgeous.

I Give Up

2007-09-16T16:29:00.000-04:00

I don't want to write any papers.

Random Bits of Information

2007-09-12T22:29:00.000-04:00

Papers are starting to be due, and I'm really looking forward to the Reds/Cubs game that will happen in 2 weeks. This weekend I'm going craft shopping and catching some movies. Oh, and not being around for the game on Saturday.

I think I'm going to study modernists in grad school, to which I still have to apply.

The rear view mirror in my car is broken. Admonition: don't ever toss your bookbag into the car and not expect bad things to come of it.

I kind of want to move to Chicago and buy season passes to the baseball games.

I hate Marshall football.

When the fall season starts up, I'm going to have to buy another VCR (ok, only kidding).

Felt the Need to Say Something

2007-09-11T20:21:00.000-04:00

I am watching a little too much baseball for my own good.

I am doing well in my classes, but I have this uncharacteristic and almost crippling fear of failure. I'll just have to get over it.

I'm excited about bible study tonight and about cooler weather headed this way.

Also, the Cubs may get to the playoffs.

I got angry today when girls in my American lit class started bashing Thoreau. They were making quick snap judgements and such, without giving credit where credit was due. I'm still kind of fuming about that one, but I intend to take it out in an essay.

I Am Sad

2007-08-22T14:28:00.000-04:00

Dr. Whalen has gone to Florida.

Second Day of School!

2007-08-21T22:20:00.000-04:00

Tuesdays and Thursdays are officially tough. I have three back to back classes, sandwiched by work. It's nice to only have 1 class on Wednesday and Fridays because I'll have a chance to finish all of my readings (I hope).

The first hit of the day is Milton...who was yet another white man from ages ago. Shucks. Ok, I'll try not to be too judgemental, I suppose. Burbery is teaching this class, and he gives the room a comfortable atmosphere. He expects a lot out of us, though. They syllabus is 20 pages long. Eek.

Next I have my Senior Seminar (my capstone) at the end of which I will have a two-inch three-ring binder filled with my writings. Oh, and we're studying theory, criticism, and postcolonialism. This class will take up half of the assignment board.

Closing the day is American Lit 1830-1865. We get to read Whitman, Alcott, and Thoreau, which is exciting. But we also have to read...a lot of other boring stuff, and put up with a guy in the class who is old(er) and thinks that he is smarter than the teacher. The work in there looks to be average, about an hour an evening.

In other news. I need a name for my new car. Any suggestions?

First Day of School

2007-08-20T17:04:00.000-04:00

Although I have been in Huntington all summer, this first day of the "fall" semester was still full of first day jitters. I began the day in the mailroom, which was more like coming home than going to work. Not that Home is demoted, my week spent with the family was great and full of love. I'm just fortunate enough to have two homes.

This senior year is calm excitement in that I am thrilled about my coursework (most of it), and I finally feel comfortable and competent in my classes. My peers are actually sensible adults who are here to learn, not to flirt or party. It seems to me that we are all thrilled with learning. It's a comfortable, non-threatening atmosphere.

Things that aren't so nice about the new year: Some of the people are missing from my college life (i.e. graduates), things will be stressful, and my new contacts not having arrived yet.

The only class that has met thus far is Western World Literature with Dr. Hood, whom I had last year. She is a brilliant instructor, really knows her stuff, but she is a little....aloof. Regardless, I always learn in her classes, and her uniqueness lends itself to her quirky sense of humor.

Next is Shakespeare with Dr. Taft, whom I had a few semesters ago. He's a fun teacher also, very relatable and relaxed. But it's Shakespeare, and despite my love for literature, I find it easy to be critical of the bard. Regardless, it's a night class so only once a week :D.

I have to unpack now and wash some dishes.

A Factual Statement

2007-08-06T14:06:00.001-04:00

I am very excited for school to begin.

I Made an Adult Decision!

2007-07-25T22:44:00.000-04:00

When school starts, I'm going to make an appointment with the counseling program on campus. If only to say that I gave it a shot, at least. If that doesn't work out for me, my mom told me that our insurance covers therapist fees for 88 sessions or something. Now I can be all like Hollywood and have a therapist!

Not that that is the point or anything. What I'm looking for is more like a direction in life, or at least a way to find some direction, I guess. This week I am not sad or depressed, and I actually feel pretty content with everything. Josh, Ashley, and Mom are coming over for a visit, and hopefully we will get my car fixed. If not, I may have to buy a new, er, different one. While that is exciting, it is also very scary, and even more adult. Note, that's adult, not Adult-xxx, or something. Ok, I've said enough.

I Think I Have ADD, No, Seriously, I Think I Do

2007-07-21T22:00:00.000-04:00

This week especially I have been feeling very listless, and, in all honesty, prone to random bouts of crying. Finding myself overly emotional, and distracted by nothing, I have somehow landed with a bout of "depression" of some sort. I am filled with a daunting sense of desparity, have no motivation to do anything except trying to find a way of feeling not sad.

Usually, in my life, since adolesence at least, I am happy and content. I have goals that I set, I generally meet them or at least take strides in that direction. Recently however, I feel as if I am being chased by a foreboding monster, one that is so large that it is surrounding me and I can see nothing but darkness. Until now I have been able to outrun the beast, keeping him at bay with optimism, forthrightness, and Bible reading. And while I feel that God's love for me and my love for Him have not waned in quite a while, and that I am filled with His grace, but there is little else consuming me than the dark monster.

And, no, it's not that time of the month, and when it is, I usually do not cry.

Dad has ADD, he takes medicine for it. I looked some stuff up, the symptoms seem to allign with my current situation. I was somewhat doubtful of my condition until the following things seem to hit their respective nails on the heads:

does not follow through
easily distracted in coversations
random jokes about life, history, self
trouble falling alseep and waking up
finds fault with self when things do not work out as planned
trouble talking in relationships
no intimate friendships or relationships
struggle to stay focused or centered, but has moments of "hyperfocus"
restless, full of nervous energy
unable to sit still, without figdeting for long periods of time
strong sense of underachievement
procrastinating, has trouble getting motivated
and here's the kicker: in women, ADD often manifests itself as depression, as women are apt to hid their symptoms and this stifling leads to feelings of desparity.

But it is fitting, coming to this truth (or non-truth, as time will tell) tonight, as I am watching Jeeves & Wosster, a television program based on a series of books by PG Wodehouse. The two actors playing the title roles, are in actual life the best of friends and have been partners in comedy since their days in college. In reading the biographies of these men, I found that before even being asked to play these roles, both of them found Wodehouse's stories as a great comfort to them in their years of battling depression. That little morsel of trivia made me think of myself in that I am most content, in public, when people are laughing at some sort of joke or mannerism of mine. Alone, however, I am anything but a joker and feel quite lonely. Yet this loneliness is self-imposed.

Anyway, thoughts for the evening. Take them with a grain of salt, if you read them.

Things I am Excited About

2007-07-03T22:51:00.000-04:00

A few of these won't make any sense.

I rearranged my room.
I lost my keys, freaked out, found my lost WWJD ring, found my keys.
I don't have to work tomorrow.
I'm going to visit my family this weekend.
On Doctor Who, Jack revealed that he was the Face of Bo (most fantastic reveal yet)!
Summer "D" Session starts Monday, and I will have an English class.
Jesus loves me (and you)!

Ok, that's it.

What I've Been Thinking About Today

2007-07-02T23:54:00.000-04:00

Once upon a time, a boy was born to a woman who had all but given up on life because she couldn't have kids. When this kid was old enough, she sent him into priesthood, saying that she would give this awesome gift back to God. Following his mother's example, Samuel learns all the tricks of the trade, defends his Creator, and calls out people who don't. One time, when Samuel was feeling especially lost, after his spiritual leaders had let him down, he didn't turn to God and say, "Man, your people are kind of shady!" Instead Samuel humbly looks to God for guidance and says, "I'm ready to listen, Lord. Tell me what you want me to do."

That's amazing. All at once Samuel recognized the corruption in the church, dealt with it, and acknowledged that this corruption came not from God, but from man. What an apt lesson in these days of the politically-driven "Religious Right"! But that's no matter, the point, for me at least, is that those who seek God, will hear Him, be lead by Him, and in the midst of struggle when the world doesn't give you the support you think you need, God will be there. Always.

Notable things that happened recently...

2007-06-28T21:03:00.000-04:00

But that are not worth elaborating on:

It flooded outside my house yesterday and my car almost floated away
I haven't eaten dinner out at all this week :)
I skipped my geography class a lot, but I still have an "A"
I fed a lizard some live crickets
I broke a button
I became addicted to The Discovery Channel
I enjoyed reading the Old Testament
I forgot how to spell.

Ok, that's it, somebody else make a cool list.

2007-06-26T23:33:00.000-04:00

I have temporarily set aside Redemption for a book that I fell in love with during the first page of reading. How to be Good by Nick Hornby (known for verbal wit and realistically comical satire) is filled with candor, desperation, competitiveness, emotional nudity, and figurative armed defenses. The narrator, Katie Carr, is both brilliant in her honesty, and idiotic in her situational blindness. This makes for prose that is depressingly hilarious, and definitely makes the novel itself a good summer read. Also, my personal joy is that I catch the British slang and can envision precisely where she is in London (courtesy of Doctor Who and Google Image Search).

In more urbane news: I did laundry today in the company of "differently abled persons". One of these persons had managed to urinate himself before the party left, while many of the others seemed impervious to my polite pleads of "Excuse me" and "Can I pass through here, please". That was an adventure.

I am looking forward to my Bible reading this evening. It is water, that's for sure.

Sometimes, I am Wrong

2007-06-26T00:28:00.000-04:00

A confession.

Last weekend, I went to the bookstore, partook in the sale they were having. Of the three items puchased, one was a gift, one was was worth its expenditure, the last I have just thrown onto the floor in disgust.

Perhaps its title will tell you why: How to Avoid the 10 Mistakes Single Women Make. Ok, it's a little cheesy, a little too self-helpish. At this point I concur. The first two Chapters (mistakes) went well enough. The first talked about being willing to open your life to other people. Ok, I can note that, I am a little self-centered, a little selfish. The second chapter was also credible: don't wait for a mate to begin your life. Ok, I could deal with that. Then, this chapter went on a diatribe about putting myself first because I had the freedom to do so. Not only does this contradict the first chapter, but also many scripture that tells me too look out for others and think of myself last (see Matthew, like, the whole thing). I should have stopped there, but no, I had to read on.

The third chapter told me I need to look past appearances when searching for a man. As if being an obese collegiate (and obese my entire life) hadn't taught me that lesson by age 2, I also need to be told that I can look outside my "type" for a husband. I lost it there, not only was this stuff trivial, and doesn't warrant being pushed in a Christian book, as Christians should strive for non-judgemental perusal in ALL ASPECTS OF THEIR LIVES, not just marriage.

After reading this, I took a closer look at the chapter titles, #7 "Focus on the Most Important Person in you Life After God: You". Give me a break. A major part of being a Christian is being selfless. Jesus gave up His life for Me, the least I can do is look past my selfish desires and help other people.

I am angered by this book. I will be happy to pass it on to others to see if they can find some silver lining, but I warn you, be wary. Maybe I should lock this thing away instead of handing it out....

I'm All Talk

2007-06-25T23:14:00.000-04:00

I need to build a relationship with Christ, not talk about having one. I need to stop waiting for someone to come along and make our relationship stronger. God-centered, that's the way it has to be.

Digression

2007-06-25T21:30:00.000-04:00

I don't know what I've come here to say. I feel naively as Tony did in West Side Story. "Something's coming, something good," or something like that. Totally unfounded, of course. But as my women's tuition has yet to prove itself credible, we'll ignore its latest beckoning.

Turning off the TV is a great idea. To amuse myself I have instead been listening to music, new and old, and reading or writing in lieu of pushing rubber buttons in the hopes of being amused. While cable offers some interesting bites, the summer schedule is lackluster at best, and really isn't worth watching (except on Fridays when Doctor Who and Man vs. Wild come on). Lately I've been grooving to Carbon Leaf and Jack Johnson. Carbon Leaf is a band out of VA with a sound that is uniquely Irish and alternative. It's acoustic rock, with Irish-esque harmonies, and brilliant lyrics. Here's a taste:

Take a walk down town, and dream with me

We'll walk the parks and the empty streets

You know the seasons ought to be

Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat.

We're alone in a crowded room

Silhouetted and ready to bloom

You know the seasons ought to be

Love, Loss, Hope, Repeat

And when the high wind blows everything

Like the lion attacking the spring

I love you more than I'll ever let on

And that's a fault of mine

I'm working on.

Of course, it's much better with the music, so I encourage you guys to check them out.

Something Envigorating This Way Comes (Please.)

2007-06-25T16:21:00.001-04:00

I am going crazy with boredom. The past few days have been filled with laziness and the Discovery Channel (I know more about crab fishing than I had ever thought possible). I hadn't even picked up a leisurely book for around four days, the situation, as it sits, is dire.

I keep contemplating picking up the cursed Norton Anthologies, in an attempt to study for the GRE subject test, but that small notion sends me away screaming. Seriously. I hate Norton Besides, I have another year until the inception of grad school, and at least a year and half before I have to take the test, so I'm doing ok, right?

Anyway, I have to give myself a substantive mission. I've actually made some headway on Bible reading, and stuck with with devotions for the better part of two weeks. But other than that, I have nothing I would be proud to say that I've accomplished. Sheesh.

I need something significant to do.

A Modern-Day Anamoly

2007-06-23T22:19:00.000-04:00

The Doctor is amazing for many reasons. But perhaps you are not familiar with the said "Doctor". The Doctor is a Time Lord from the planet Galifrey. Time Lords are an alien race who have mastered the technology needed to travel through time and space (but they can't travel through their own lifetime because pterodactyl looking aliens will come and eat everybody up). Anyway, why is this particular Time Lord so cool? Let me tell you.

This guy, who could spend his time traveling all over the place, decides to spend it with humans, because, according to him, we are an amazingly emotional and adaptable race that, despite the odds set against it, prevails and survives through time. Humans, for the Doctor, are kind of like Hobbits for Gandalf. And if you don't get that analogy, then you probably don't care about anything else in this post.

The Doctor also has this unstoppable determination to remain relatively violence-free. While the Doctor travels through time and space, inevitably saving the human race from other time traveling aliens (and that's where the story gets kind of circular: i.e, is the Doctor saving humans because they always survive, or are humans always surviving because the Doctor saves them?), he always attempts to come to some sort of diplomatic solution. Most of the time, the other aliens are non-compliant, and the dear defender must resort to more extreme measures to ensure the safety of humanity.

Regardless of its underscored British cheesiness, the series that portrays the Doctor's adventures (you know, Doctor Who) does sowith delicacy and charm. And even better, it comes complete with a moral message that is delicately cloaked in the story, so that you come away with a sense of purpose without feeling as if you've been beaten over the head by some morality-driven writer who has no knack for natural storytelling.

If my argument here hasn't been compelling enough for you to tune in to the new season of Doctor Who that premieres on Sci-fi in a couple of weeks, then I'm just going to have to kidnap you and force you to watch it anyway. Trust me, you'll feel better for it.

Pick and Choose

2007-06-22T17:54:00.000-04:00

I am trudging my way through the Old Testament these days, and after reading Genesis, Exodus, etc. many times in an effort to stick with some year-long Bible reading plan, I've jumped right into Samuel. As I read, I try to pick apart the scripture, do a close reading of sorts, and this system is working much better than it usually does, in regards to the OT (the New Testament lends itself more easily to perusal). So my tactic now is to read these books like stories, complete with realistic characters who rise and fall, who sin and live.

It's very difficult to look at these men (and some women) as examples, as their lives are unavoidably compared to Jesus's, so thus I think that they are supreme losers and don't deserve my attention. But it isn't that simple.

What I've found in Samuel thus far is a woman who gave up everything to serve God (Hannah), an unfledging servant of the Lord who sticks to his guns when everyone is doing the opposite (Samuel) and a constant familial setting that is always morphing and changing, but nonetheless offering a social structure that makes every one of its members relatable and understandable.

Once I got passed looking for the Ultimate Truth or some unblemished Israeli warrior and just took these people for who they are, their world and lives came alive for me. I see myself in them, I see in their leaders surrogate mentors, and most importantly I see God working in the lives of these servants, just as He works in my life. This stuff is water, and my spirit is a desert aching to be filled.

Pandora.com is awesome.

2007-06-21T21:38:00.000-04:00

Bonafonatones, I miss you and your adeptly skillful players.

Spot the Shakespearean Quote!

2007-06-21T20:06:00.001-04:00

Upon reccomedation from a friend (Kimbo), I started reading aChristian fiction book Redemption, written by Gary Smalley and Karen Kingsbury. I am not usually a fan of the genre, but I sample all reccomedations; it's only fair.

Anyway, this particular novel is about a couple and the husband's having an affair. Thus far I'm not sure if I'm going to stick with it (and because of a rule originally set forth by high school English teach, Mr. Smead, I have to read on for at least 20 more pages). The writing itself has much to be desired both mechanically and rhetorically, and I can't help paying attention to those things, it's in my nature. The characters seem realistic enough, but they're a bit to "Everyman" for my tastes. Plus, it's set in Indiana, and thus is uncolorful.

In spite of all those things, however, this book is an engaging read. I'm picturing all these places in my head, sympathizing with the characters (well, not the cheaters, of course) and really just getting into it. Maybe this will be my indulgent read for the summer. To clarify, "indulgent reads" are the literary equivalent of American Idol. I shouldn't watch it, there's no logical reason why I do, but every season it just sort of happens.

In actual news, Misty and I are lizard-sitting for the week, which means we can't call the land-couple and tell them that the bathtub faucet is literally streaming hot water involuntarily. Eh, utilities are covered in full by the rent But still it holds true: "What a tangled web we weave when we first practice to deceive." Speaking of which, my car (Betsy) was booted today, and thanks to the dear ol' roomie and her concern, I am once again on the straight and narrow in regards to municipal law. Friends are awesome.